Divorce - The Checklist

What to do when you are about to get divorced:

- Get a wild animal; not a dog, not a cat, not a fish. Maybe a snake, an iguana or a bat
- Change radically your haircut
- Buy clothes one generation ahead of you
- Get drunk twice a week (or more if you can handle it)
- Practice unsafe sex
- Become a TV sports maniac and subscribe all the paid channels you can imagine
- Same goes for porno
- Book vacations on places where you know things will happen (Ibiza, Amsterdam, etc..)
- If your boss asks anything just say you are getting divorced with that stupid face people expect you to do
- Buy a motorcycle
- If you really need a girlfriend, get a foreign one
- Know by heart all the places in town where quality whisky is cheap
- Get a second cell phone (if you're getting divorced you probably have one already)
- Make a divorce party that will make at least three of your friends to file divorce as well
- If someone asks you your civil status, just say the one that suits most the occasion
- Listen to annoying, repetitive music

While this list might appear as a very "I don't give a damn" list, this is the way people will see you as a divorced person. Even if you don't practice any of the ideas here displayed. So.. Just do it!